If you feel you are resisting or repelling what-is, repelling that feeling is not the answer. I would suggest delving into the “me” that really wants to push it away. There really is no end to the clinging and repelling of the “me” – as long as the “me” is believed. The “me” is partially sustained by this clinging (holding on) and repelling. It is the “me” that tries to hold on and tries to repel.
I have spoken about accepting the present moment as it is for as long as it is…neither clinging nor repelling what (by its very nature) changes. However, I do not suggest making “not repelling” into some kind of rule or ideal. “Not repelling” is not something done by the “me”. So you are just creating more problems for yourself if you are trying to not repel. The “me” never stops repelling…repelling is seen as valuable for a “me”.
If you feel you are resisting or repelling what-is, then inquire and delve into this “me” who really wants to push it away. Also, investigate and inquire if repelling or pushing away what-is has ever kept what-is from you. We repel and push away because we think we can…but what-is is…regardless of clinging or repelling. We are fighting reality in trying to cling or repel. Reality always wins.
For example, if you have a headache. You can resist and try to repel the feeling of pain in your head. But don’t you see that makes it feel inescapable and unbearable? It becomes a pain that you just can’t get away from. It adds misery to the pain. Trying to push the headache away will not make the headache go away. It only creates suffering…mental anguish…when you find you can’t get away from it. This is the futility of repelling or trying to push away what-is. It can’t be done.
In investigating this you may come to deeply realize the truth of this and in so doing you may find you cease repelling what-is. Not because you think you should cease pushing things away, but simply because you see the futility of it and that you are unable to push it away. When you realize there is not a thing gained by repelling and instead you just add to your own suffering, you will see no point in causing misery for yourself by trying to repel what already is.
You may be trying to repel or push away what is about to happen or may happen at some future time. Investigate the truth and logic of this. Does anyone know the future? Of course not. But why do we imagine things and then try to repel them? This too is futile, because if there is something you can do in the present about it…then do it. If there is nothing you can do about it, then repelling and trying to push it away will not help. Do what you can…but accept what-is as it arises.
You also mentioned “want.” Will wanting what-is to be other than it already is change anything? Whether you try to cling onto what is leaving or try to repel what is coming…will the change be halted? The “me” thinks it might and that is why a “me” tries…but upon investigation you will find it is a myth the “me” believes.
Again, if there is something you can do…then do it. If your cable bill is overdue and the cable will be disconnected at the end of the month, all the internal feelings of clinging onto your cable access will not help you. However, if you can scrape a few bucks together and pay your bill – then your cable will not go away (for a little while longer). However, if you have no money – then all the internal feelings of clinging onto your cable access will not stop the cable being disconnected. Clinging and repelling are the same…just different directions – in relation to a “me”.
Which brings me back once again to this “me”. What is this “me”? But what are you really? Without referring to past or future, what are you right now? Does ‘what you are right now’ want what-is (the now) to be other than what it is? Is there anything to try to cling onto or repel, if there is an allowing (non-resistance) and acceptance (non-denial) of what-is? The “me” does not want to allow and do not want to accept…that is why the “me” tries to cling onto or repel what-is, what-was, and what-might-be.
A word of caution, don’t make allowing and accepting a rule or ideal. Again, allowing and accepting is not really something a “me” does. What is really going an is a ceasing of effort by the “me”…ceasing to resist and ceasing to deny what-is. Non-resistance and non-denial happens when the “me” ceases to do. Like silence…if you are clapping and talking, there is no silence. But if you cease clapping and talking, silence arises. You did not create silence…it just arises on its own when you cease doing. You do not create allowing and accepting…it happens when you cease resisting and denying.